The Combined Forces of Ancient Mythology vs The Holy Trinity
by Admiral Chiraneau
Summary: A combined work between me and another writer in the hopes of replicating what would happen if the world of Percy Jackson met the madness that is the Abrahamic religions (Those being Christianity, Judaism, and Islam). Please proceed with caution, as we SHALL be taking on a sensitive subject in a comedic manner.
1. Introduction

The Combined Forces of Ancient Mythology vs The Holy Trinity

By: **Autumn Castaway & Admiral Angelika Chiraneau**

 **Intro**

The Chapters will be from the view of different characters and 3rd person; the chapter titles will let you know the viewpoint. Most of the characters will be from Rick Riordan's books, but there will be others….

Starring \- Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase, Nico di Angelo, Will Solace, Thalia and Jason Grace, Grover Underwood, a very reluctant, and frankly, annoyed Chiron, Carter and Sadie Kane, Leo Valdez, Piper McLean, Hazel Levesque, Frank Zhang, Reyna Ramírez-Arellano, and Magnus Chase. (Rick Riordan's)

Also Starring - Jake and Autumn Castaway. (The Main Writer's OCs)

Guest Staring - God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; The Lord and Savior, Jesus Fucking Christ; Satan/Lucifer, The Devil Himself; and the Greek/Roman, Egyptian and Norse gods. Then again, what else is new?

 **A/N:**

 **1)** **Some** of the 'starring' characters will be telling the story, not sure which ones yet

 **2)** Not all of Rick Riordan's characters that are listed are for sure going to be in this story, listed them just in case, and more of his characters may appear or be referenced, not sure yet

 **3)** Even though this is a co wrote story I, Autumn Castaway, will write the story; the story idea come from the editor, publisher, and my partner in crime; Admiral Angelika Chiraneau {Hi! This is how I make myself known to you delightful asshats}(don't mind _her?_ I know anymore) {Any less?} (sure, this is Autumn and I will make my side comments like this)

 **4)** We know and are fully aware of the fact that this story _may_ {It's totally gonna} (unless you're not religious or if you can, I don't know, take a joke?) offend people, so please **read at your own risk** , thank you

 **5)** Please note that not all of the backgrounds are perfect, in fact, none of them are. Please, calm your tits and wait for updates, that or give us feedback if it bothers you.


	2. Characters for the uninitiated

**Background** (Starring - Percy)

 **Name** \- Perseus 'Percy' Jackson

 **Nicknames** (who uses them) - Peter Johnson(Mr. D) Seaweed Brain(Annabeth) Boss(Blackjack) Persassy(Fandom)

 **Father** \- Poseidon

 **Mother** \- Sally Jackson

 **Side** \- Mythology - Greek

 **Why** \- His father is the Greek god of the sea

 **Eye Color** \- Sea Blue

 **Hair Color** \- Jet Black

 **Weapon of Choice** \- Anaklusmos (Riptide)

 **Other Facts** -

Goes to camp Half-Blood, sometimes camp Jupiter

A Greek Demigod, Hero, and Saver of Olympus

Has a black Pegasus, named Blackjack, that likes to call Percy "Boss" though told not to

Has a hell hound friend named Mrs. O'Leary

A child of the Big Three

Head of the Poseidon cabin

In a relationship with Annabeth Chase

Gave up immortality for Annabeth

One of the Seven {Dwarves?} (No, just no)

Was a Roman Praetor until Jason returned

 **Background** (Starring - Annabeth)

 **Name** \- Annabeth Chase

 **Nicknames** (who uses them) - Wise Girl (Percy), Annie Bell (Mr. D)

 **Father** \- Frederick Chase

 **Mother** \- Athena

 **Side** \- Mythology - Greek

 **Why** \- Her mom is the Greek goddess of wisdom, art, and battle strategy

 **Eye Color** \- Stormy Grey

 **Hair Color** \- Blonde

 **Weapon of Choice** \- The Dagger Luke gave her

 **Other Facts** -

Goes to camp Half-Blood

A Greek Demigod and Hero

Declined being a huntress so she could stay with Percy

In a relationship with Percy Jackson

Saver of Olympus

One of the Seven

Cousin of Magnus Chase

 **Background** (Starring - Nico)

 **Name** \- Nico di Angelo

 **Nicknames** (who uses them) - Ghost King (the dead); Death Boy, Death Breath, Doom and Gloom, Zombie Boy, Angel Face, etc. (Will) (Will didn't, correction doesn't, know when to stop)

 **Father** \- Hades

 **Mother** \- Maria di Angelo (deceased)

 **Side** \- Mythology - Greek

 **Why** \- His father is the Greek god of the dead

 **Eye Color** \- Dark Brown

 **Hair Color** \- Black

 **Weapon of Choice** \- A three-foot black sword that can take it's victim's essence

 **Other Facts** -

Goes to camp Half-Blood

A Greek Demigod and Hero

Younger brother of Bianca di Angelo (deceased)

Younger half brother of Hazel Levesque (Died then returned)

King of the Dead

Loved by hellhounds, especially Mrs. O'Leary {Can I has a snuggle with a hellhound?} |Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr -Mrs. O'Leary|

Sometimes goes to Camp Jupiter

In a relationship with Will Solace

Use to have a thing for Percy Jackson, then realized Percy 'isn't his type'

 **Background** (Starring - Will)

 **Name** \- Will Solace

 **Nicknames** (who uses them) - Sunshine, Son of the Sun, Glow Stick, Ray of Light, Morning Ray, etc. (Nico) (Nico doesn't know when to stop either)

 **Father** \- Apollo

 **Mother** \- Naomi Solace

 **Side** \- Mythology - Greek

 **Why** \- His father is the Greek god of the sun, archery, and healing

 **Eye Color** \- Blue

 **Hair Color** \- Sunkissed Blond

 **Weapon of Choice** \- Medicine - healer

 **Other Facts** -

Goes to camp Half-Blood

Half-brother of the other Demigod children of Apollo

Head of the Apollo cabin

The camp's best healer

In a relationship with Nico di Angelo

Likes to tell Nico things and then say, "Doctor's orders"

 **Background** (Starring - Thalia)

 **Name** \- Thalia Grace

 **Nickname** (who uses them) - Pinecone Face (Percy) {Damn it Percy, only I can be a smartass!}

 **Father** \- Zeus (She is deathly afraid of heights) {HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The sky god's child hates heights, that's rich!} (We don't say that in front of her, doesn't end well…)

 **Mother** \- Beryl Grace (deceased)

 **Side** \- Mythology - Greek

 **Why** \- Her father is the Greek sky god and king of the gods, plus she is a Huntress of Artemis,

 **Eye Color** \- Stormy Green

 **Hair Color** \- Black

 **Weapons of Choice** \- Aegis (shield), and a spear that conducts electricity

 **Other Facts** -

"Older" full sister of Jason Grace. She thought Jason was killed when he was taken by Hera, but he shows up later as a Roman demigod. By this point they were about the same age.

On her way to Camp Half-Blood she risked her life for her friends, Luke Castellan, Annabeth Chase, and Grover Underwood. Her father, Zeus, couldn't just let her die, so as she lay dying he turned her into a Pine Tree, so she could help others. Her tree produced a magic barrier around the camp.

Several years later Luke, now evil, poisoned her tree/her (Luke has since died)

Some demigods and a satyr went on a quest to get the Golden Fleece and to heal her tree and save the camp

The Fleece worked it's magic better than expected, not only was the tree healed but Thalia was back

She joins the Huntress of Artemis after the death of Zoë Nightshade; she is the head huntress

 **Background** (Starring - Jason)

 **Name** \- Jason Grace

 **Nicknames** (who uses them) - Lightning Boy (Piper), Blonde Superman (Leo), Sparky (Leo)

 **Father** \- Jupiter

 **Mother** \- Beryl Grace (deceased)

 **Side** \- Mythology - Greek

 **Why** \- His father is the Roman king of the gods and the sky god

 **Eye Color** \- Blue

 **Hair Color** \- Blonde

 **Weapon of Choice** \- Was Ivlivs but it got destroyed, now uses Juno's Gladius Lightning

 **Other Facts** -

'Younger' brother of Thalia. Close to same age after tree thing and will soon be older than her because she no longer ages being a huntress and all

Normally goes to Camp Jupiter, but will visit Camp Half-Blood

Was a Roman Praetor until he forfeited his position to Frank

Head of Zeus Cabin at Camp Half-Blood

In a relationship with Piper

Is one of the seven

He can fly (need I say more?) {But can he fly _well_?} (Well, ummm, not really) {I'm not getting flying lessons from him then}(I can fly! But don't get flying lessons from me either…)

 **Background** (Starring - Grover)

 **Name** \- Grover Underwood

 **Nicknames** (who uses them) - G-Man (Percy), Goat Boy (Annabeth)

 **Father** \- Daddy Goat (Dead?)

 **Mother** \- Mama Goat (Dead?)

 **Side** \- Mythology - Greek

 **Why** \- He is a satyr, Lord of the Wild, protector of Greek Heroes, and Finder of Pan {The god, not the flying bad boy from the fairy tail or the cooking utensil}

 **Eye Color** \- Brown

 **Hair Color** \- Brown

 **Weapon of Choice** \- Nature Powered Reed Pipes

 **Other Facts** -

He is a satyr, upper half is human, lower is goat

Good at finding powerful demigods, ↓

Found the demigods: Luke, Thalia, Annabeth, Percy, Nico, and Bianca

Helped retrieve the Golden Fleece

The first, and only, satyr to not only return alive but to find Pan (Who died)

Lord of the Wild

Can talk with animals

In a relationship with Juniper, a dryad that lives in the woods at Camp Half-Blood and she is the nature spirit of a Juniper bush

 **Background** (Starring - Chiron)

 **Name** \- Chiron

 **Nicknames** (who uses them) - Pony (Tyson), Mr. Brunner (used when he was a 'human' teacher)

 **Father** \- Cronus (Foster Father - Apollo)

 **Mother** \- Philyra (Now a tree) {Heh, the centaur has a tree for a mom, heh}

 **Side** \- Mythology - Greek

 **Why** \- He is a centaur trainer of Great Heroes like Hercules, the first Jason, the original Perseus, Percy Jackson, and others

 **Eye Color** \- Brown

 **Hair Color** \- Brown Hair; White Stallion

 **Weapon of Choice** \- Bow and Arrows

 **Other Facts** -

He is a centaur, half man half horse {All awesome}

Trained heroes so well that Zeus made him an immortal trainer of hero for as long as he was needed

Poised as Mr. Brunner at Percy's school

Has a magic wheelchair that can hide the horse part of him so he can act human

 **Background** (Starring - Carter)

 **Name** \- Carter Kane

 **Nickname** (who uses them) - Mr. Wikipedia (Sadie)

 **Father** \- Julius Kane (deceasedish) Came back as Osiris - The god of the dead/king of the underworld

 **Mother** \- Ruby Kane (deceased)

 **Side** \- Mythology - Egyptian

 **Why** \- Egyptian Magician - Hosts Horus, and his father is kinda the god of the dead, (that's a long story, read the Kane Chronicles)

 **Eye Color** \- Brown

 **Hair Color** \- Black

 **Weapons of Choice** \- Combat Magic and a _Khopesh_ (an ancient Egyptian sword)

 **Other Facts** -

Possesses the Eye of Horus

Restorer of the Throne of Fire

Pharaoh of the House of Life

One of the three most powerful magicians in the world, along with his sister, Sadie, and his Uncle Amos

Leader of the Twenty-First Nome {Not to be confused by the tiny people with pointy red hats that stand outside of your grandmother's house} (but my grandmother is a Titan, she doesn't have Gnomes outside her house, she doesn't even have a house….My great grandmother has some in her yard! Then again, she is the yard...well the Earth actually…)

In a relationship with Zia Rashid

 **Background** (Starring - Sadie)

 **Name** \- Sadie Kane

 **Nicknames** (who uses them) - None

 **Father** \- Julius Kane (deceasedish) Came back as Osiris - The god of the dead/king of the underworld

 **Mother** \- Ruby Kane (deceased)

 **Side** \- Mythology - Egyptian

 **Why** \- Egyptian Magician - Hosts Isis {The goddess not the terrorists you dunce} and her father is kinda the god of the dead, (Well duh, she's Carter's younger sister. Do you even read? Or must I explain _everything?_ )

 **Eye Color** \- Blue

 **Hair Color** \- Naturally Caramel Blonde, tends to have a strip of some bright color

 **Weapons of Choice** \- Egyptian Magic - uses a wand or staff

 **Other Facts** -

Her philosophy is: "when someone says I forbid it, that's a good sign it's worth doing" {Sounds like my kinda gal!}

Sadie doesn't do well with authority figures, and she could clearly teach a class called 'Angering Adults for Fun and Profit'

She is a skilled magician who uses the Ancient Egyptian gods to power her magic

 **Background** (Starring - Leo)

 **Name** \- Leo Valdez

 **Nicknames** (who uses them) - Commander Tool Belt, Bad Boy Supreme, Admiral Leo (All self given nicknames)

 **Father** \- Hephaestus

 **Mother** \- Esperanza Valdez (deceased)

 **Side** \- Mythology - Greek

 **Why** \- His father is the Greek god of the forge and blacksmiths

 **Eye Color** \- Brown

 **Hair Color** \- Black

 **Weapon of Choice** \- Magical Toolbelt

 **Other Facts** -

Can spontaneously burst into flames

Accidently burnt down his house killing his mom when he was young

Usually likes machines better than people

Befriends the bronze automaton dragon which he renames Festus, and then gets turned into the Ago II, then back into a dragon (It's complicated…)

Is one of the seven

Faked his own death so he could save Calypso

In a relationship with Calypso {That seems weird because he likes machines more than people…} (But who wouldn't like her? There is a reason young heroes were sent to her island)

When he returned to camp Nico gave out numbers so people could line up and hit him {Where do I sign up?} (Sorry that ended _way_ before this story started) {Damn it, I was looking for an excuse to punch someone in the groin} (The sons of Aries won't mind) {They don't have large enough pairs} (So much for the PG rating…) {Why the hell would you rate this PG?} (Well there is violence… and slightly inappropriate jokes and comments… but I guess PG13 will have to do)

 **Background** (Starring - Piper)

 **Name** \- Piper McLean

 **Nicknames** (who uses them) - Pipes (Jason), Beauty Queen (Leo)

 **Father** \- Tristan McLean

 **Mother** \- Aphrodite

 **Side** \- Mythology - Greek

 **Why** \- Her mother is the Greek god of beauty and love

 **Eye Color** \- Varies

 **Hair Color** \- Chocolate

 **Weapon of Choice** \- Magic Dagger, Katoptris

 **Other Facts** -

Her father is a famous Native American actor, but he refuses to play the part of a Native American

She has charmspeak and use to use it to get people to give her stuff, now uses it for good

Her father was being held hostage by the giant Enceladus

When they freed him, he was mentally broken and Piper was forced to give him a potion that Aphrodite had given her, one that erased all his short term memories.

In a relationship with Jason Grace

Is one of the seven

 **Background** (Starring - Hazel)

 **Name** \- Hazel Levesque

 **Nicknames** (who uses them) - Miss Metal Detector and Witch Girl (was called in her old life)

 **Father** \- Pluto

 **Mother** \- Marie Levesque(deceased)

 **Side** \- Mythology - Roman

 **Why** \- Her father is the Roman god of the dead and precious metals and gems found under the earth

 **Eye Color** \- Gold

 **Hair Color** \- Cinnamon Brown

 **Weapon of Choice** \- Cavalry Sword - a stout sword with a curved blade and thick back {I got a smaller one in the Kriegsmarine of the Wehrmacht, kinda had to fit it on a ship} (?) {I once was a German Naval Officer, let's just leave it at that} (o-kay then)

 **Other Facts** -

She is the half sister of Nico and Bianca di Angelo

She was born December 17, 1928

Killed herself and her mom, by making a cave collapse on top of them, after realizing that her mother was being controlled by an evil force

She could have gone to Elysium (Basically Heaven) and her mother would go to The Fields of Punishment (Basically Hell, though not the worst part), but she didn't want that to happen to her mother so they both went to The Asphodel Meadows (Basically the oh well part).

Was brought back from the dead in by Nico

Is one of the seven

Befriends the immortal horse Arion who is the equine son of Demeter and Poseidon

 **Background** (Starring - Frank)

 **Name** \- Frank Zhang

 **Nicknames** (who uses them) - Fai Zhang (His grandmother), Klutz (Given to him by himself), Chinese Canadian Baby Man (by Arion)

 **Father** \- Mars

 **Mother** \- Emily Zhang (deceased)

 **Side** \- Mythology - Roman

 **Why** \- His father is the Roman god of war {And douchebaggery, no wait, that's Aries}

 **Eye Color** \- Brown

 **Hair Color** \- Black

 **Weapons of Choice** \- Bow and Arrows, Shape Shifting Ability, and a Magic Spear which was given to him by his father - The end has a dragon's tooth which, when planted in the ground, causes a Skeleton Warrior to appear

 **Other Facts** -

His mother is the descendant of Poseidon, and she has shapeshifting powers which Frank inherits

His shapeshifting abilities are on point

Is one of the seven

His lifeline is attached to a piece of firewood

Couldn't get out of Chinese handcuffs once, so he turned into an iguana {Why not a shark? Sharks are cooler}

Can turn into a swarm of bees, not just one but a whole swarm

He is a Roman Praetor, Jason gave it to him

 **Background** (Starring - Reyna)

 **Name** \- Reyna Ramírez-Arellano

 **Nicknames** (who uses them) - None

 **Father** \- Julian Ramírez-Arellano (deceased)

 **Mother** \- Bellona

 **Side** \- Mythology - Roman

 **Why** \- Her mother is the Roman goddess of war

 **Eye Color** \- Brown

 **Hair Color** \- Black

 **Weapons of Choice** \- Dagger, Javelin, Imperial Gold Spear ,

 **Other Facts** -

Her older sister, Hylla, is the Amazon Queen

Praetor of Camp Jupiter

Reyna's guard dogs, Aurum and Argentum are metallic hounds with Ruby eyes and they have the ability to know when a person is lying and will then attack the person. Aurum is a golden hound, as Aurum is Latin for gold, and Argentum is a silver hound, as his name means 'silver' in Latin.

Helped return the Athena Parthenos to camp Half - Blood

 **Background** (Starring - Magnus)

 **Name** \- Magnus Chase (deceasedish)

 **Nickname** (who uses them) - Swagnus Chase (Magnus)

 **Father** \- Frey

 **Mother** \- Natalie Chase (deceased)

 **Side** \- Mythology - Norse

 **Why** \- His father is the Norse god of summer, wealth, light, peace, and fertility (if you do not know what this is, please ask your parents or guardians and **NOT** Google, Thank you)

 **Eye Color** \- Grey

 **Hair Color** \- Blond

 **Weapon of Choice** \- Sumarbrander (The Sword of Summer) (Calls itself Jack, I'd explain but the book does it better)

 **Other Facts** -

His mother died mysteriously, leaving him to live alone on the streets of Boston

 **HE DIED!** {Better than what I can do}

He is now an einherji, a resident of the Hotel Valhalla, and one of Odin's chosen warriors

 **Background** (Also Starring - Autumn)

 **Name** \- Autumn Castaway

 **Nicknames** (who use them) - None

{SNUGGLES! (Admiral Angelika Chiraneau)}

 **Father(s)** \- Jupiter + Poseidon (yes this is possible, ask Google about 'multiple sperm donors')

 **Mother** \- Unknown Mortal

 **Side** \- Mythology - All

 **Why** \- Too many reasons

 **Eye Color** \- Blue when human, Golden Yellow when wolf

 **Hair Color** \- Blonde {Hopefully that doesn't also come with being an idiot. BREAK THE STEREOTYPE!} (I'm actually very smart thank you)

 **Weapons of Choice** -

Close Range - My dragon rider's sword, Flame (I know the name sucks but all the cool ones were taken) {Not an excuse!} (Too bad); Backbiter (a sword that was once owned by Luke Castellan); or my wolf, Pain

Long Distance - Bow + Silver Tipped Arrows, Daggers/Throwing Knives

 **Other Facts** -

Hybrid of Witch, Werewolf, Demigod, Elf, Dragon Rider, Castaway, and Shapeshifter

Really, really old (I'm immortal what do you expect? I tend to take the form of a 16 year old)

Younger twin of Jake Castaway (Biologically by a few seconds, though Jake appears as an 18 year old)

Been through alot in her long, long life (If you wish to learn more read, _Nightmares_ by Autumn Castaway, _The Castaways Part 1 and 2_ also by Autumn Castaway)

Has a lot of family

Saw a lot of people die

{Brother works at State Farm, though he denies it} (it'd be cool if he did ;) )

 **Background** (Also Starring - Jake)

 **Name** \- Jake Castaway

 **Nicknames** (who use them) - None

{Jake from State Farm, (Admiral Angelika Chiraneau)}

 **Father(s)** \- Jupiter + Poseidon {Duh, Jake and Autumn are twins} (I'm older! -Jake) {Shut up Jake} (Yeah, nobody cares! -Autumn) {Except those people at State Farm}

 **Mother** \- Unknown Mortal

 **Side** \- Mythology - All

 **Why** \- Forced into it

 **Eye Color** \- Usually Yellow Gold, Unless he is in the form of Torture, then they are Red, or trying to look like a normal human then Blue

 **Hair Color** \- Black

 **Weapons of Choice** -

Close Range - Usually fights with his wolf, Shadow, but will use his Dragon Rider's sword, Aurum, and on rare occasions his nameless Imperial Gold sword {Which I have now named Asshat Slayer} (Why? Just why? -Jake) {It's better than the Sword of State Farm right?} (Well, yeah...but not by much -Jake) (Is that why you never use it? -Autumn) (Just stop, please just stop -A Jake that is wondering _just_ how bad suicide really is)

Long Distance - Bow + Silver Tipped Arrows {With business cards to State Farm}

{Other - Khakis?} ( I DON'T HAVE KHAKIS! I HATE KHAKIS! -A VERY MAD JAKE, NOT WEARING KHAKIS) {But terrible fashion can be a weapon in it's own right} (hehe, I like this... _shark?_ -Autumn)

 **Other Facts** -

Hybrid of Wizard, Werewolf, Demigod, Elf, Dragon Rider, Castaway, and Shapeshifter

Really, really old (He is immortal too! He is an 18 year old though)

Older twin of Autumn Castaway (Biologically by a few seconds, though Autumn appears as a 16 year old)

Been through alot in his long, long life (Read the books listed under Autumn)

Has a lot of family

{You work at State Farm right?} ( **I DO NOT WORK AT STATE FARM! -A VERY PISED JAKE, NOT FROM STATE FARM** ) (ummm, so _that_ happened -Autumn)

 **Background** (Guest Starring - God)

 **Name** \- God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit (Thought those were three separate beings?)

 **Nicknames** (who use them) - Elohim (The Eldest of the Jewish), Jehovah (Pretty much everyone), Yaweh (The Modern Jewish), Allah, Ar Rahman, Ar Rahim, Al Malik, Al Quddus {I read that one as Al Quidditch, haha}, As Salam, Al Mu'min, Al Muhaymin, Al Aziz, ect. (The people of the Islamic faith didn't know when to stop…) {kissing his ass?} (...Giving him names, but that too)

 **Parentage** \- He has no parents he was always there and will alway be there (The Abrahamic Religions are weird)

 **Side** \- The Holy Trinity

 **Why** \- He's motherfucking God

 **Eye Color** \- Whatever the hell he wants

 **Hair Color** \- Again, whatever the hell he wants

 **Weapon of Choice** \- Mainly (holy) Fire and Brimstone, sometimes other natural things {in one case, a big ass flood, Poseidon would be proud} (Actually he was upset that he didn't think to do that);

 **Other Facts** -

{SUPPOSEDLY} Created the world in seven days

Flooded the world "because humans were being bad" _once_. OMG guys it was one time, ONE TIME! -God {How the hell did you get into the editing room?} I'm Omnipotent, I do whatever the hell I want. -God [But that's MY JOB! -Loki] {Who let you in here?} [I'm Loki, I do whatever I want. -Loki] {Autumn, get the giant eraser} (What happened to _**MY**_ story?) {I dunno, it kinda got derailed} (I can see that)

Might just be more narcissistic than Apollo, being the head of three religions and all that.

{Hates fighting, though enjoys seeing his three religions fight over who's right. This guy must be mental, like, more so than me} (He doesn't _hate_ fighting he just doesn't like fighting he wants everyone to love everyone)

Has three main books about him, if you count the religious books of the three major religions, plus a smattering of other books running around. {Kinda like a certain writer we know right?} (hmm? Were you talking about me? PS read The Castaways Parts 1 AND 2, Nightmares, and all my others!)

 **Background** (Guest Starring - Jesus)

 **Name** \- The Lord and Savior, Jesus Fucking Christ 'The Son'

 **Nicknames** (who use them) - Jesús (Spanish, pronounced Hey Zeus, this will be useful later)

 **Father** \- The Holy Spirit

 **Mother** \- The Virgin Mary

 **Side** \- The Holy Trinity

 **Why** \- He is Jesus Fucking Christ

 **Eye Color** \- Original - Not totally sure, maybe a dark brown, almost like of dark oak according to the historical Roman texts

Now- {We're figuring that out}

 **Hair Color** -A lighter shade of Brown

Original - Not sure about this either, maybe a lighter shade of Brown

Now -

 **Weapon of Choice** -

Original - A carpenter's nail Gun and carpeting knife, His father, He was a shepherd(kinda) so a shepherd's rod and staff, (He didn't approve of violence… yet)

New \- Bible in one hand, a rifle in the other, 'cause he's gonna judge the quick and the dead! {Shouldn't he have a revolver if he's a fan of westerns?} (His favorite western show is The Rifleman)

 **Other Facts** -

Was born in a stable, visited by some wise guys as an infant, who the almost told the guy that wanted him dead where he was, grew up poor, became a carpenter, then went around telling people about God

Claimed some fishermen as followers, had a habit of hanging out with bad people like tax collectors

Preforms miracles such as healing the lame, giving the blind sight, let the deaf hear, resurrecting the dead, Etc. {Sounds OP as fuck} (Well duh, but then again so am I…. Mwahahaha!) {What's next, breathing fire out his nose?} (He does have something to do with fire tho…. I CAN BREATH FIRE IN DRAGON FORM! *hears a rawr from the other room* AND SO CAN MY DRAGON, EMBER!) {*Inserts fire extinguisher in Autumn's mouth and pulls the trigger* No} (I'm not in dragon form… I wouldn't fit in the editing room… that's why Ember is in a virtual reality place that only Jake and I have access to… JUST LIKE OUR HOUSE AND THE WOODS AND-) (That's enough Autumn, don't give out all our secrets -Jake)

Was crucified by the Romans long ago, was resurrected three days later, preached to his disciples some more, and went to go visit his father. (for a family reunion) {SURE, that's what you can call it…} (What would you call it?) {Being a coward, take the fight to the Romans damn it!} (But he _was_ a pacifist) {In the life before, that could have changed after the resurrection!} (Nope, doesn't change till _after_ he comes back from his 'family reunion')

 **Background** (Guest Starring - Uncle Satan)

 **Name** \- Satan/Lucifer, The Devil Himself

 **Nicknames** (who use them) - UNCLE! (Autumn and sometimes, very rarely, Jake), {Asshat Supreme (Admiral Angelika Chiraneau)}

 **Parentage** \- He was an angel and it is unknown who the parents of the angels are, or if they even have any (He's the original fallen angel, others followed) {Assholes, the lot of them} (THEY ARE NOT!) {Then again, so am I… Does that make me a fallen angel?} (No, you not cool enough)

 **Side** \- The Holy Trinity

 **Why** \- He is too full of himself to let the 'fake' gods win

 **Eye Color** \- Dreamy

 **Hair Color** \- Hot

 **Weapons of Choice** \- A silver tongue, Blue Fire, (His hotness) {Well, that too. Have you seen the guy?}

 **Other Facts** -

"UNCLE!" So, umm yeah, Satan is Autumn and mine uncle (BTW this is Jake, Autumn is preoccupied by our uncle and Autumn put all the comments about him being 'hot' "Autumn! Please stop swooning over _your_ uncle!" Sorry about that. Oh and Admiral Angelika Chiraneau dared to _agree_ with Autumn, ugh what is with these people?) {We're asshats, what did you expect?}

 **Background** (Other gods)

 **Name** -

 **Nicknames** (who use them) -

 **Father** -

 **Mother** -

 **Side** -

 **Why** -

 **Eye Color** -

 **Hair Color** -

 **Weapons of Choice** -

 **Other Facts** -

(We could write this, but we have more than enough backgrounds already...So Onto The Story!) {It's gonna be a shitshow} (Well I know where I'm going when I die!) {We're going to Hell aren't we?} (YEP! "hello uncle, here I come!") (Why did I have to get dragged into this? -A very worried Jake, who is considering a career at State Farm) {Cause you do work at State Farm} (Not yet -Jake soon to be from State Farm) {Hey, at least you aren't Tim from Tim Hortons} *HEY! HOW _DARE_ YOU INSALT ME* {So who the fuck are you and how the fuck did you fucking get in here?} *I'M TIM! FROM TIM HORTONS!*( _Why_ must _everyone_ mess with this? And we **NEED** to get a lock -Autumn)

 **The End... of the Beginning**

{And the start of the shitshow} (*Story, she? Ment story) {No, I meant shitshow. But it'll be hilarious} (This may be why I go to hell when I die, but this is NOT A SHITSHOW! Thank you and enjoy the story) {Also, this is the obligatory Trigger Warning for those who can't take a joke. Please take your offended self to the trash pile}


	3. The Beginning of the End

**A/N:** This is completed to the best of my abilities, if you spot anything that should be fixed let us know. {Wait, you make mistakes?} (I am part human) {I don't have that problem, I'm a shark} (But you're a humanoid shark) {True… Damn it}

 **Chapter 1** \- 3rd person

After the war against Gaia, the Greek and Roman demigods were talking about their newfound friendship and how they could work together to benefit both camps. When something, not even the best seer could have predicted...

A rather harshly sunburnt guy, looking red as a lobster and wearing a western style outfit, carrying a bible, and a lever action cowboy repeating rifle came up to the demigods. The Romans looked like they were going to pass out any second, and the Greeks stood in confusion, until one of the Romans yelled out.

"Noooooooooo!" It was Reyna, the last person you'd expect to freak out publicly. "Didn't he die? Didn't our ancestors kill him?"

The other Romans nodded their heads in agreement, while trying to not freak out any more than what they already have.

Then a Greek spoke up, "Whoa guys, who even is he?"

The Romans were unable to speak and their faces went pale, but that didn't matter.

"I AM JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" The man yelled. "NOT JUST JESUS! NOT JUST CHRIST! I AM JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!"

The Romans lost it, they began having a full out mental breakdown. Some of the Greeks nodded their heads realizing just who this odd man is.

"Who?" Asked Percy, looking dumbfounded and just as confused as ever. "Who is he?"

Annabeth came up to him, "Percy, so obviously the Greek gods aren't the only gods. I mean the Romans are right there, we had a run in with the Egyptian, and my cousin is a Norse demigod. So, who is to say the so called 'mythological' gods are the only ones?"

Percy looking at Annabeth then at the man, "Oh, I get it!" He says excitedly. "You must be one of the spirits the Native Americans talked about! Are you their Great Spirit?"

The Romans, still hyperventilating heard nothing. The Greeks shook their heads.

"Poor Seaweed Brain," Annabeth mumbled, while shaking her head.

This Jesus person, looked confused but happy said, "Yes! I am great!" He didn't understand that the Great Spirit was someone completely different. He is, perhaps, a greater seaweed brain then Percy, might be all that time in the sun.

Annabeth sighs, "No Percy, he is Jesus Christ-"

"Jesus Fucking Christ," the sunbaked dude corrects/interjects, something like that.

"Whatever, anyways he is, you know, the Son of the Christian God. Capital G." Annabeth explained.

"Oh," said Percy, seeming to finally understand. "You're a demigod too! Must be a kid of Zeus if his father gets a capital letter! Only the important gods get letters from the White House!"

The collective facepalm of the Greeks could be heard for miles, and the Romans would have joined but those that hadn't fainted yet weren't far from it.

(And on that happy note…. We end the first chapter…. I wonder if we still have readers, or if they're gone already….) {Nah, I'm pretty sure we still got some, who are confused or curious, depending on how awake they are} (Or just plain lost… Then again I'm lost, so I wouldn't blame them) {On another note, poor Percy…} (Dumb Seaweed Brain *shakes head* will he ever learn?) {Hopefully, or he's not gonna have a good time}


	4. Chironic Pains

**Chapter 2** \-  Chiron

I didn't want too… I wouldn't have… They made me… Oh gods, why is it always me? Oh? You don't know what I'm talking about? Good, you don't want too. Run away. Go! Leave while you still can. Oh, well if you insist; but I warned you! Don't say I didn't tell you so!

* * *

The demigods had a problem, so of course they come to me. Why me? Why is it always _me_? Oh never mind. I group of Greek demigods walk into the Big House, where I was _trying_ to clean, with someone that had _obviously_ offended Apolo. I saw a few Roman demigods following in a trance like state.

Percy was shoved to the front of the group. The Greek demigods were mumbling something to Percy, and to each other. I couldn't make out much, but I think it was something about that guy.

"What's wrong now?" I ask kind of annoyed. "It better be important I _was_ trying to clean."

"Ummm" Percy mumbles.

"Yes Percy?" I ask, as I sit down in my magic wheelchair.

"Chiron, we have a problem…"

"I figured as much," I say with a sigh. Then I mumble "You only come to me when you have a problem."

"Well, this guy-" Percy says gesturing towards the strange man.

"Ah, yes," I say finally seeing what the issue is. "This man offended Apolo and needs help. I've been telling these people for eons not to talk bad about Apollo, he is very... proud of his, umm, accomplishments" I say picking my words with care.

"No," Percy says. "He claims to be someone named, 'Jesus Fucking Christ' and the Romans are freaking out about it, but I don't see what's going on. He's obviously a demigod, he got into camp alright."

"Oh no," I should have realised sooner who this man was and why the poor Romans are having such a hard time.

"What is it Chiron?" Percy asked, just as confused as ever.

"Umm, Percy," I say as I lean closer to him. "This is a very important man, and um, I'm sure Zeus would like to see him, and I'm busy… um, cleaning and who would watch over the camp if I left."

"Oh, I see," said Percy excited. "So you want one of your best campers to take him to Olympus!"

"Exactly," I say, grateful for Percy's stupidity. "Can I count on you?"

"Of course Chiron!" Percy says, as he turns to leave.

"Not so fast," Autumn says, as Jake and she enters. "We heard what's going on and we wish to come with."

"Hmm," I know that they know what's going on and then some, they always do. "What is it that makes you wish to go?" I ask, "What are you not telling us?"

"Actually we wish to go with Percy because for once we don't know any more than everyone else," Jake explains. "It's weird, whenever we try using our powers to gain informasion we get nothing."

"Hmm, if that be the case," I say thinking. "That this is more urgent than I thought. You three had better hurry."

"Yes Chiron," They all say at once, before turning to go.

"Please come with me," Autumn says as she escorts our unusual guest.


End file.
